Halfway There!

Whew...Week 20! Not much new...not much to tell you all really. Still throwing up:( Not showing :( Not feeling any "kicks" since the umbilical cord is in the front :( I am counting the days until I can go on maternity leave to be honest. There is not much fun about a teacher who feels crummy 99% of the time. The earliest I can go out is March 23rd. However, Christmas break is coming so that will help give me a little reprieve.

You know what's really sweet though: Many of my former students who were around through our adoption nightmare and remember the ordeal of Mrs. DeLorenzo "going to get her baby" and coming home with no baby...are now in high school. Most have heard from younger siblings or neighbors that we are pregnant and have come back to visit or sent me letters saying how happy they are for me and my hubby. Isn't that cute? That is why I hate being at work when I am cranky. I love my students...they are such great kids. I even heard a few of my female students who see me running out of the room to go throw up say "I'm never having a baby." I have explained that not all women throw up so much (just lucky me - lol). Even funnier is how some of the boys react to me being pregnant...they don't want to make me get up so they come to my desk to ask me questions! I tell them I am not disabled :) Little cuties!

America's Most Wanted Airing Sat. 1/3/2009

I hate tainting this blog with this information, but I really want Orson to be found: The America's Most Wanted piece about Orson will air on Saturday, January 3rd at 9/8 C on FOX. You have to check your local listings to see what channel it shows on in your area. God willing, someone will know where the scumbag is and call in.

IT'S A...

It is a girl! We are really excited and shocked at the same time. It will take some time to move into "girly" mode. There is certainly plenty to shop for :) We are going to name her Isabella Lena De Lorenzo. We'll most likely always call her Bella...except for those times when you are angry and call her by her full name - lol. However, Joe is Joseph and a few people told us they like having their "formal" and "informal" names. Lena is my great-grandmother's name and although I never knew her, my grandfather always spoke of her with such warmth and love.

Bella certainly didn't make things easy at the ultrasound. We couldn't do the 3D/4D because the umbilical cord is currently in front and it was covering her face. Then she wasn't in a great position, so they had me walk around for a little while to get her to move. When we went back in she was positioned better but kept tucking her foot in front of her vagina...so they pushed and prodded until they got the perfect angle and told us "It is definitely a girl."

I am not sure if we are going to change the nursery. It is neutral...light beige. I may just change the bedding. It is currently that cute jungle theme. We are not big into the whole pink thing so I will have to see what they have out there that is feminine, but not too girly.

Welcome Month Five!

Some days it is hard to believe how fast this pregnancy is moving...and other days, well, I just want our baby to be here. I am still not showing or gaining any weight so I worry about that. However, the doctor doesn't seem concerned...so I guess I shouldn't worry. Eight more days until we find out if we are having a boy or a girl! We are really excited!

Wow...Week 15!

I can hardly believe that month four is almost over. Nothing much is new (at least from the outside ;) My weekly updates say our baby is now the size of a small orange!

I am really starting to think we are having a girl (which is what Joe and his mother think we are having too.) Mostly because of the things happening in my dreams. Since we have been so focused on having a boy for the last three years it takes a bit of adjusting mentally. As you know, we have a TON of baby boy clothes and items, but luckily it is easier for a baby girl to wear many of the boy clothes. The only real question with the baby girl name we have chosen (Isabella) is whether to use the full name or shorten it to Bella since that is what we'll end up calling her all the time anyway. So far, my favorite out of our boy names is Christian.

Three more weeks until our 3D ultrasound. Boy...some days time seems to be flying, and others it seems to be an interminable wait :)

Reunited & Reborn: A Nation with Renewed Hope

From Harlem to Harvard, from Maine to Hawaii—and even Alaska—from "the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire … [to] Stone Mountain of Georgia," as Dr. King put it, each of us will always remember this moment, as will our children, whom we woke up to watch history being made.

Henry Louis Gates Jr.

Last night was an emotional one for me and our nation as a whole. It is hard to find words with enough weight to express those emotions that run so deep they leave you speechless. Many Americans were aware that the movement led by Barack Obama was so much more than an election campaign; The magnitude and gravity of its results run deeper than what four or eight years in the White House can encompass. Gloria Steinem spoke on The Oprah Show today and her words reverberated what is in my heart.

"I feel as if I got my future back in a funny way, because I was in my 30s when I thought my country was moving toward democracy, and then two Kennedys were killed and then Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, and it's as if the future died. Now I feel as if our future has come back and in an even better form because the Kennedys and Clintons tried to be inclusive, but this isn't about being inclusive. It is the thing itself. It is actually happening."

I always felt a bit envious of the older generation; They seemed to stand for so much and have lived a history, albeit excruciating at times to endure, full of passion, hope, and triumph. They stood for something and revered their beloved heroes. Sadly, I feel, my generation lacked that intangible surge that unifies, ignites, and stimulates change. Perhaps this is why so many of us became obsessed with material possessions and fell prey to far too many of the distractions that have only served to kill our spirits and led us down a path of apathy and relativism.

It means so much to me that our child will be born at this historic time. A new child naturally brings about hope and dreams for a better life and future. What parent does not imagine a life for their child which is filled with unconditional love, success, little strife, and interminable hope for the future? It is natural for us to want our children to go through life unscathed by the heartaches we may have endured ~ both big and small. We pray we will be better parents than our own; Or we pray that we can live up to being the parents ours were if we were blessed to have such parents. We realize, however, that all the idealism in the world cannot protect our children from heartache and strife. In the end, our greatest prayer, is that they have learned something from our own mistakes and perhaps even learned something from our achievements. We pray that when heartache and strife inevitably knock on their door...they have faith, courage, and perhaps above all ~ hope. It feels only fitting to quote Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in saying "If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all."

November 4, 2008 was indeed an historic night. Our child will be born in an historic year and I pray with all of my heart that he or she lives out the dreams that God weaves in his or her heart and that despite heartache and strife...hope remains perched on his or her spirit.

Week 14

I saw my OB last week and she gave me an Rx for Zofran. That stuff is amazing! I can't believe I actually feel normal again :) I just wish they gave it to me sooner, but I am sooo happy to have it now!

I read this book that I think is great: The Mother-to-Be's Dream Book: Understanding the Dreams of Pregnancy by Raina M. Paris. There isn't a pregnant woman I know who has not said she had weird dreams while pregnant. I have always been a dreamer - very vivid details...I talk in my sleep, and even yell and scream which wakes my poor hubby up. However, my pregnancy dreams have been even more vivid. They almost seem more mystical - even the colors are different...like Disney Technicolor. It's quite interesting. So, this author writes that there are "typical" dreams that occur in each trimester. The first trimester dreams often include people from your past, more specifically, family, friends, and ex-lovers. She believes this is a resolution stage during which you make peace with the past. The second trimester dreams are typically more anxiety-related dreams. It is common to dream of misplacing or forgetting your baby, forgetting to feed your baby, etc... This is a time for mothers-to-be to work out feelings of fear or anxiety and develop a more primal mother instinct. The last trimester, according to Paris, encompasses dreams that are more psychic in nature and focus on bonding with your baby. You may dream of the sex of your baby and even be able to "take your baby out of the womb" during these dreams. If dreams intrigue you or you are pregnant and experiencing more vivid dream activity than ever before in your life and want to try and "interpret" your dreams, I highly recommend this book.

Looking for Breastfeeding Advice

I am going to try and breastfeed and I am wondering what bottles moms have found that work best for storing breast milk and for feedings? I have read some great reviews for the Avent bottles. I purchased the Madela pump - my goodness they are expensive! The Madela bottles are BPA free, but others have come out with BPA free bottles too. So, mommies...if any of you have products to recommend, please share. Thanks!

On to Week 13

Time is just moving right along! Our 3D ultrasound, scheduled for Nov. 30th, couldn't come fast enough though. We want to know so bad! Unfortunately, I can't figure out what my body is doing ;) The nausea went away, but has now returned...only not as bad as the first trimester. I have no appetite. You know the "nothing sounds good to eat" feeling? That's what I have right now. I have to eat...so I force myself, but then I get sick. I continue to lose weight rather than gain (not that I couldn't spare to lose quite a bit ;-) The strange dreams continue - and the night sweats too.

Milestones!

We are under 200 days left and the end of my first trimester! Woohoo! I am feeling soooo much better too. No morning sickness and my ear infections are clearing up. I am glad that I have quite a few colleagues who have recently become mommies because I get to pick their brains about their experiences. I was a little worried because I have lost my appetite - nothing "sounds good" and although I am hungry I just don't feel like eating. They reassured me that this will pass as well.

I told my students that I am pregnant and they are all excited. We wrote down all of their guesses as to whether we are having a boy or a girl. Quite a few voted girl! It will certainly be something I have to wrap my mind around after being in a "boy mode" for three years! Ironically, the only name will have pinned down is a girl's name: Isabella (Bella) Rose De Lorenzo. We have a list of several boys' names, but have not narrowed it down to a favorite yet. Here is our list:

Christian (my paternal great-grandfather's name)
Daniel
Giovanni (Joe's maternal grandfather's name)
Jacob
Jack
Jason
Justin
Patrick
Paul (my maternal great-grandfather's name)
Sean

Unfortunately, our favorite boy name, Stephen, was to be given to Stas and Andrey, and we just don't feel comfortable using it.

PS - Yes, we have a 3D ultrasound scheduled for Sunday, November 30th...we are hoping our little peanut is cooperative and we can see his or her jems ;)

Feeling Better

I am feeling so much better today! Better yet...I have not thrown up in three days :) I feel so guilty that I have missed so much work; since school started I have missed four instructional days. It's back to work tomorrow and I am just glad to be getting out of the house! Joe's 37th birthday is tomorrow! We actually have a busy day scheduled so I am not sure we'll be able to really celebrate until the weekend :( Happy birthday sweetie! I love you!

Frustration

Why do people perpetuate the myth of the "glowing" pregnant woman? Is there such a thing? I certainly don't feel like I am glowing. I am so frustrated. I had two days that were throw-up free and I have now been hit with a double ear infection and the nausea is constant. I do know there are women who feel their healthiest when they are pregnant, but so far, that is not me. The only positive is that I have lost five pounds - lol!

Week 11 begins on Sunday :) I am really excited to watch the ticker/ countdown! It is almost under 200 days left! I also can't wait to find out the baby's sex. I still can't believe we are pregnant...it is so amazing and surreal.

Unfortunately, the blood clot in my arm is still there. I have an appointment this week with a vascular surgeon and I'm a little nervous about that. My doctor doesn't want me to stay on the blood thinners past my second trimester - something about it being bad for the placenta.

Finally, No Sickness Today :)

Today was the first day in two weeks that I have not thrown up. The last week was the worst. Yesterday, for example, I threw up four times. I was shocked and elated that I didn't get sick today! Hopefully, this means it is subsiding like everyone keeps saying it will. We are ten and a half weeks along and my OBGYN said the "morning" sickness should end by the end of my first trimester. Hooray!

Early Morning Scare

I woke up to go to the bathroom around 2 am this morning and when I wiped there was bright red blood - like a period. I freaked out thinking the worst: miscarriage. We just got back from the doctor and the baby is fine. The doctor said the chance for miscarriage once a fetal heartbeat is established is less than 5%...I don't know why I always thought it was higher. He said it is likely just uterine tissue and that 50% of pregnant women experience bleeding during pregnancy. Thank God everything is okay. Did anyone else out there have a similar experience?

P.S. - The doctor did try to see if he could tell the sex, but the baby squirmed and closed his or her legs - little bugger!

Week 9

Week 9 begins tomorrow:) I have experienced more nausea this past week than previously. I am also much more tired. My greatest concern right now is a blood clot that I have in my arm. I had a second ultrasound of the clot last week and it showed that the clot is still there. My doctor wants me to get a vascular consult. So, I have an appointment scheduled and hopefully this doctor will be able to solve the problem and put our minds at ease.

We had our very last visit with with the Reproductive Endocrinologist! We are so glad to be moving on to the next stage - an appointment with our own OB on October 1. The last ultrasound with the RE showed that the baby is doing great...growing and the heartbeat is strong.

We both really want to know the sex of the baby. I'd like to have one of those 3D/4D ultrasounds done. I read that some where able to determine the sex as early as sixteen weeks. Has anyone been told the sex that early?

Welcome!

It is time to start a new blog and a fresh page in my life story! What better way to celebrate a new beginning than a new blog? I realize only bloggers will understand this ;) We are moving into Week 8 of our pregnancy and all is well. We had another ultrasound on Wednesday and the baby is growing and the heartbeat is strong. We will have our last ultrasound with out Reproductive Endocrinologist this coming Wednesday and be released to my OB.

I thought I was going to make it unscathed and not have to deal with "morning" sickness - which is really "any time" sickness, but I was wrong. I got sick at work on Tuesday afternoon. I think I have it under control now, but I really have to be careful to eat every 2-3 hours or I feel nauseous. The Italian genes are definitely surging through this baby because the only food that makes me feel better is pasta!

I am sick and tired of taking Progesterone. I am praying that they will tell me I can stop on Wednesday. I also developed a blood clot in my arm from a messed up attempt to insert my IV before the egg retrieval. So I am also injecting a blood thinner twice a day. I will be glad when I don't have to have daily injections anymore.

I realize that many people see having a baby as commonplace, but when you have struggled with infertility and endured three failed adoptions - becoming pregnant is like a blind man getting his sight back. It is surreal.